Top 10 Mitt Romney Bumper Stickers

This actually began as a couple of tweets on my Twitter account (@tqsideways) but then I started to do some more thinking about ol’ Mittens and some of his unique (and sometimes comical) campaign experiences -- and realized “What better way to save them for posterity than by the old tried and true method of creating a bumper sticker for them?” So I decided to expand my short list, and hereby present to you, Dear Reader:

TOP 10 MITT ROMNEY BUMPER STICKERS

10.) I BRAKE FOR BANKRUPTCIES

9.) BETCHA $10,000 I GET THERE BEFORE YOU DO

8.) I USED TO DO JUMPING JACKS TO STAY IN SHAPE -- NOW I JUST DO FLIP-FLOPS

7.) I WONDER WHAT THE PEOPLE MAKING UNDER 17 MILLION ARE DRIVING TODAY?

6.) THIS CAR HAS AN ELEVATOR WAITING FOR IT AT HOME

5. ) IF THIS CAR HAD BEEN MADE IN DETROIT, I WOULDN’T HAVE PAID FOR IT

4.) WANNA BUY THIS CAR? BORROW THE MONEY FROM YOUR PARENTS

3.) CARS ARE PEOPLE, MY FRIEND -- WAIT, THAT‘S CORPORATIONS, CARS ARE METAL AND GLASS

2.) IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU’RE CLOSE ENOUGH TO TELL ME IF THE DOG IS STILL ON THE ROOF

And the Number One Mitt Romney Bumper Sticker…

ARE WE IN THE CAYMANS YET?

　
*****************************************************************

"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."

-- Thomas Pynchon

Little-Known Facts You Probably Never Heard About STAR WARS

This year marks the thirty-fifth anniversary of the release of the first STAR WARS movie, later called "Episode IV: A New Hope” which starred the now-famous trio of Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford. And since today, May 4, has been designated “May the 4th Be With You Day,“ I’m sure you’ll be bombarded with all sorts of trivia and tedium about the movie.

I was never a big science-fiction fan, but since the movie (and the franchise) has achieved legendary status, and I have a friend who ran the marketing department at Fox at the time the move was released, I thought it would be helpful to add to the festivities by telling some of the things I know about the films (or heard rumored-- or made up).

For instance:

Harrison Ford was not the first actor considered for the part of Han Solo. He was only hired after it was discovered that another up and coming young actor, Harrison Chevy was not available.

Many people have come to believe that the character of Chewbacca was based on George Lucas’s dog, Indiana. In actuality, Chewbacca was based on Lucas’ very hairy uncle, Louie, whom whenever George would visit him, was always sitting around in his underwear, smoking a cigar, drinking a beer, and had an ammo belt and an AK-47 slung over his shoulder.  He combed his body hair with a garden rake and was forever picking fleas out of it.  He even belched like Chewbacca.

Before Carrie Fisher was cast in the role of Princess Leia, her mother Debbie Reynolds was considered. The final decision came down not to the fact that Miss Reynolds might be too old for the role, but that she was so diminutive that her neck wasn’t strong enough for her to hold her head up with the hair buns attached. It was quickly realized that she would have to play the part with her face constantly flush down on a horizontal surface.

The village of Moss Eiseley was based on the city of Burbank (or maybe it was Santa Clarita -- hard to tell).

The name Luke Skywalker was derived from the fact that when he was a toddler, George Lucas thought that the  kids riding on the swings at the local playground were actually walking through the air. He kept yelling to his parents “Look! Skywalker! Look! Skywalker!”

The Death Star was originally going to be a black hole, but Lucas found he couldn’t keep the cast members from falling into it.

The famous words at the beginning, ”A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far Away..” replaced the words "It Was A Dark And Stormy Night,” which Lucas thought he might have heard or read somewhere.

The voice of Darth Vader which was done by James Earl Jones, was originally supposed to be done by Richard Simmons (somehow I just don’t think Lord Vader would have been nearly as nasty with that voice and striped huggy short-shorts).

The Emperor's original name was Rush Limbaugh.

And finally….

That creature in the trash compactor on the Death Star that kept dragging Luke under the water? It was actually Mark Hamill’s agent, trying to yank him out of the film, convinced it was going to be a monumental bomb.


***************************************************************

"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."

-- Thomas Pynchon