But perhaps in a brief moment of sanity -- or dumb luck, take your pick -- Donald Trump has finally chosen a man as his new chief of staff who seems to have a reasonable level of competence and smarts to be able to deal with the daily disaster ("dumpster fire" seems too generous a term) we've all come to expect.
On the other hand, once Gen. John Kelly is sworn in today to his new post, he may find that things have been (ahem) piling up a little more than he realized and he's going to have to turn his attention to some things that require immediate action. So for all of you who want to keep a scorecard, here's...
TOP 10 THINGS GEN. KELLY
WILL HAVE TO DO ON HIS FIRST DAY ON THE JOB
10.) Show Kellyanne
Conway the right way to sit on a couch
9.) Send Chris Christie
out to get the president's lunch
8.) Distribute
Russian-English dictionaries to everyone on his staff
7.) Re-order
more hair product for Donald Jr.
6.) Start
digging the sand traps for the golf course/resort Trump plans to
open on the south lawn of the White House
5.) Give
Anthony Scaramucci diction lessons by having him watch old tapes of
John Travolta as Vinnie Barbarino in “Welcome Back, Kotter”
4.) Try to
explain health care insurance to Donald Trump
3.) Peel the
plastic Dymo labels off everything that has the name “Priebus”
on it
2.) Buy Sarah
Huckabee Sanders a mirror
AND THE NUMBER
ONE THING GEN. KELLY WILL HAVE TO DO ON HIS FIRST DAY ON THE JOB...
Hope that
things just keep going as smoothly as they have been!
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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."
-- Thomas Pynchon
