Spicey, We Hardly Knew Ye (Thank God)

You really have to feel for Sean Spicer these days.  If he'd only stuck it out maybe another week or two, He'd probably still have his job once "The Mooch" was given the heave-ho. But we all make life decisions that we may or may not regret later, and the best thing is just to move on. 

However, given what we've learned about Mr. Spicer over the past six months, his background, experience, mindset and his personality, now that he does have to find new employment, there are a few career opportunities that for one reason or another, we probably won't hear about him pursuing. And with that in mind, here are...

TOP 10 JOBS SEAN SPICER PROBABLY WON'T BE TAKING

10.) Abercrombie & Fitch Catalogue Model

9.) Motivational Speaker at self-esteem seminars

8.) Public Relations Executive for Takata Airbags

7.) Walmart Greeter (“Lady, I can neither confirm or deny that we have, ever have had or ever will have that item in our store – stop shaking your head”)

6.) Suicide Prevention Hotline Operator

5.) Co-author of a book with Reince Priebus titled “Your Coworkers Can Be Your Friends!”

4.) Maitre D' at any restaurant patronized by Anthony Scaramucci

3.) Melissa McCarthy impersonator

2.) Personal groomer/walker for Donald Trump's hair 

AND THE NUMBER ONE JOB SEAN SPICER PROBABLY WON'T BE TAKING...

“Hey, kid – Easter Bunny this!”

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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."

-- Thomas Pynchon