Monday, November 21, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving! Please Don't Throw The Pumpkin Pie!



I think most people will agree that this has been a trying year for our country, but as we near the end of 2016, this may be a good time to stop and be grateful for what we have and look forward to a better year in 2017.

Whoops, scratch that.  This year, Thanksgiving is starting to look like it may be fraught with so much angst and stress, that on the one day when we should all come together,  our nation will probably be engaged in one gigantic food fight.. 

But on the other hand, it could be worse.  Some totally unexpected things could happen that would really screw up your holiday; and so, just to give you a forewarning of what  to keep an eye out for, I've compiled...


TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE HAVING A BAD THANKSGIVING

10) You're invited over to Bill and Hillary's for Thanksgiving dinner and Hillary begins the blessing with “I'm not sure how much we have to be thankful for this year”...

9) Decide to start your holiday shopping at 6 pm on Thanksgiving night only to be met by people blocking the mall entrance and holding placards that say “BLACK FRIDAY LIVES MATTER!”

8) Every time someone tries to compliment you on your cooking, Kanye West interrupts to say that Martha Stewart could have done a better job

7) Chris Christie shows up at your front door dressed up like a pilgrim and asking if he could have some food to take back to the President-Elect

6) Finished making your online wagers on today's football games just as CNN announces that all the sports sites have been hacked by the Russians

5) You invite Gary Johnson over for Thanksgiving dinner and he replies “Thanksgiving? What's that?”

4) You're at Hoda and Kathie Lee's Thanksgiving celebration and everybody's guessing on how long it will be before one of them tips their wine over onto your lap

3) You turn on the TV to see that Macy's parade has been ambushed by 10,000 protestors marching down Broadway chanting ”Not my Santa Claus! Not my Santa Claus!”

2) Donald Trump's advice for enjoying your Thanksgiving meal: “Grab it by the giblets!”
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE HAVING A BAD THANKSGIVING...

“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys couldn't be elected president!”


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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."

-- Thomas Pynchon



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