Going Bald? Then Sing Your Way To Hair Restoration!

I'm at the age now where I've started to lose a few hairs now and then and find a few in my comb -- OK, I'm pretty bald. and I know for many men (and some women) it's a stage of life that we'd rather not go through, and so we start to look for  any solution we can find from drugs to plugs to toupees and wigs (and in some cases can barely afford)  to reverse the process of our fast-thinning crop.  

I began to think however that there's one remedy that seems to have had universal acceptance over the years, and I thought that maybe the application of that combined with something that seems to put us all in a more relaxed state and gets the blood flowing to those starving follicles on our noggins might be a sure-fire way back to a full head of hair. So I came up with a new procedure: Singing!

That's right, folks. The next time you visit your local karaoke, open mic night, or are just puttering around the house, let those vocal cords help restore that crop that started to go missing from your head since the age of 30. I've even provided a song and a backing track to help you begin. And so without further delay, I present my guaranteed cure for baldness:

“Rogaine”

(sung to the tune of "Cocaine" as done by Eric Clapton)

If you're losing your hair there's no need to despair – Rogaine!

And if you scream and you shout each time another falls out – Rogaine!

Don't despair,

Keep your hair,

It's all there – Rogaine!

If your love life's a dud because your head's like a spud – Rogaine!

If you want to get chicks you'd better buy the mix – Rogaine!

Head's a spud,

Life's a dud,

Wake up, Bud – Rogaine!

(Instrumental Bridge)

If you think you can't cope, well there still is hope – Rogaine!

So remember, my friend, it all works out in the end  – Rogaine!

There's still hope,
You can cope,
You're no dope – Rogaine!

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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."

-- Thomas Pynchon