As We Gather....

Well, once again we've come to the time of the year when we begin to think of family and friends -- and how none of us has probably spoken to each other over the last 12 months; so while thinking that now would be a good time to lay down our grievances and disagreements and renew our  friendships and love for family members, we also start to think about what could go wrong on this day that would disrupt our peace and intentions to give thanks. And so as has been my custom in the past, I'll now present for 2017...

TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE HAVING A BAD THANKSGIVING

10.) Jeff Sessions claims he doesn't recall being at your house for dinner that day

9.) New Republican tax plan adds a surcharge for cornbread stuffing and yams

8.) Your free range, grain-fed steroid-free turkey just got up and walked off the table

7.) Sarah Huckabee Sanders stops by to tell you that it isn't Thanksgiving unless the president says it is

6.) An Amazon drone just re-enacted the WKRP Thanksgiving episode with the turkey you ordered from Whole Foods

5.) Just as you're digging into your slice of pumpkin pie, everyone rushes to clear the table and head to Walmart

4.) The Macy's parade is hit with scandal as seven women come forward to accuse the Pillsbury Dough Boy balloon of groping

3.) That turkey you just deep-fried to a burnt crisp comes with another piece of bad news: Domino's is closed on Thanksgiving

2.) Roy Moore invites your 15-year-old daughter over to his place for Thanksgiving dinner

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE HAVING A BAD THANKSGIVING...

One full year of Donald Trump and you're still trying to find something to be thankful for 

Happy Thanksgiving, All!