I Should Have Stayed In Bed 'Til The 5th

Yes, folks, here it is -- the real start of the summer holiday season, and a way to get out and enjoy the weather, the good friends and the celebration of our Independence Day. what could go wrong?

Well, a lot as it turns out; but rather than offer you a litany of hundreds of things that may happen, I just want to highlight some stuff that might indicate that the day is not going to go as planned. So in order to keep you on your toes to watch for sudden disaster, here are the...

TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE HAVING A BAD 4TH OF JULY

10.) While digging through your barbeque equipment, you come across a bunch of document boxes with the initials “DJT” in your garage

9.) Due to road construction, the town 4^th of July parade has been rerouted through your back yard

8.) The band you hired to add a patriotic touch to your picnic turns out to be a Russian group named Vladimir and the Oligarchs

7.) Your neighbors show up carrying AR-15's after the pickleball tournament you're holding starts getting a little loud

6.) You discover the case of hot dogs you saved to grill today has an expiration date of 1999 on it

5.) Your obnoxious uncle shows up to your picnic and starts ranting about how the election was stolen

4.) Your picnic is cut short by the EMS showing up to tend to everyone choking on smoke from the Canadian wildfires

3.) George Santos shows up and starts relating stories about his great great great grandfather, Thomas Jefferson

2.) You discover that those fireworks you bought at the dollar store are worth every penny you paid for them – pffft!

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE HAVING A BAD 4TH OF JULY...

United Airlines has decided to give all its employees the day off – Enjoy sleeping in the airport!