Well, once again we've come to the time of the year when we begin to think of family and friends -- and how none of us has probably spoken to each other over the last 12 months; so while thinking that now would be a good time to lay down our grievances and disagreements and renew our friendships and love for family members, we also start to think about what could go wrong on this day that would disrupt our peace and intentions to give thanks. And so as has been my custom in the past, I'll now present for 2017...
TOP
10 SIGNS YOU'RE HAVING A BAD THANKSGIVING
10.) Jeff
Sessions claims he doesn't recall being at your house for dinner that day
9.) New
Republican tax plan adds a surcharge for cornbread stuffing and yams
8.) Your
free range, grain-fed steroid-free turkey just got up and walked off
the table
7.) Sarah Huckabee Sanders stops by to tell you that it isn't Thanksgiving unless the president says it is
6.) An Amazon drone just re-enacted the WKRP Thanksgiving episode with the turkey you ordered from Whole Foods
5.) Just as you're digging into your slice of pumpkin pie, everyone rushes to clear the table and head to Walmart
4.) The
Macy's parade is hit with scandal as seven women come forward to
accuse the Pillsbury Dough Boy balloon of groping
3.) That
turkey you just deep-fried to a burnt crisp comes with another piece
of bad news: Domino's is closed on Thanksgiving
2.) Roy
Moore invites your 15-year-old daughter over to his place for
Thanksgiving dinner
AND
THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE HAVING A BAD THANKSGIVING...
One full year of Donald Trump and you're still trying to find something to be
thankful for
Happy Thanksgiving, All!
