But hold on a second. While the day may seem full of promise and overflowing with bliss to the naive and unsuspecting, those of us who have been visited by the ghosts of Valentine's Days past know that those particular 24 hours don't always turn out the way your fantasies planned. And so, as a service for those of you who are walking into this day with your eyes wide open (and so you don't make the same mistakes next year), I present...
TOP
10 SIGNS YOU'RE HAVING A BAD VALENTINE'S DAY
10.) Your
inflatable rubber doll springs a leak
9.) On
this special night, just as you're about to propose to your sweetheart,
your Skype service crashes
8.) You
can't treat your paramour to a special romantic Valentine's Day meal
because Denny's ran out of eggs for their Grand Slam Breakfasts
7.) The
gold jewelry you gave your honey turns green within 30 minutes of it
being exposed to air
6.) That
romantic evening you planned at home is interrupted by the neighbors
coming over and asking if you'd be interested in swapping wives
5.) Still
waiting for Budweiser to come out with a chocolate covered
strawberry-flavored beer
4.) You
open the door to the romantic lovers' suite you reserved at the Trump
International Hotel to find it occupied by a group of Saudi diplomats
3.) 1-800Flowers
screws up your order and sends your floral arrangement to a funeral
home with card attached that says “From Your Secret Mushy Wushy
Lover – Have A Wonderful Day!”
2.) You just realized your best bet for having a date tonight is by logging
on to BoyAmILonely.com
AND
THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE HAVING A BAD VALENTINE'S DAY...
Threat
of another government shutdown – Valentine's Day cancelled
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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."
-- Thomas Pynchon
