With the flood of White House staff members either voluntarily or forcibly departing the Trump administration in what can only be described as record numbers for a first year president, it must be quite confusing for people there to know if they're actually working for him from one day to the next. After all, how'd you like to show up for work one day and find that your office has been turned into a secret hideaway where the boss's son Barron can play undisturbed with his brand new XBox (or where Barron's daddy can get it on with a porn star)?
So, in order to help alleviate this confusion, I decided to offer some guidelines to any interested (or jittery) party on how to know that you need to be out of your West Wing office in the next 15 minutes, and therefore present...
TOP
10 SIGNS YOU'RE NO LONGER EMPLOYED BY THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
10.) Donald
no longer shares his Big Mac and French Fries with you
9.) Nobody cares any more that your name is Spicer, Priebus or Papadopoulos
8.) Michael Wolff keeps calling you saying “Hey, I've got a doozy of an idea for a book but I just need a little input from you"
7.) Your
condo in Trump Tower has just been sub-let to two people named
Yuri and Ninotchka
6.) Eric
and Donald Jr. have stopped coming over to your house for play dates
with your kids
5.) Every
time someone mentions your name at a press briefing, Sarah Huckabee
Sanders calls it Fake News
4.) White
House travel office changes your vacation plans from a week at Mar a
Lago to two weeks in Haiti
3.) You
suddenly find yourself standing in line at the unemployment office
right behind Anthony Scaramucci
2.) Somewhere
out there, there's an arrest warrant with your name on it
AND
THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE NO LONGER EMPLOYED BY THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION...
The
last words Trump said directly to you were “Omarosa, you're fired!”
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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."
-- Thomas Pynchon
