Amidst all the chaos, confusion and civil unrest the year 2020 has brought us, we were at least hoping that maybe sports would be the great oasis where we could all relax, sit back and enjoy a little bit of what's become a big part of Americana. But alas, 'tis not to be. Besides most sports being canceled from the pros right down to the little leagues, other issues have once again brought to the forefront of our consciousness, and what once might have begun as an innocent nickname is now regarded as a derogatory slur against a specific ethnic group.
I'm referring of course to the argument over changing the name of the Washington Redskins. Mind you, I'm all in favor of it if it no longer reflects the mindset of our country and the need to establish a society which is all-inclusive in every aspect. With that in mind, I've begun thinking that if the Redskins name should be dropped, then any new name attached to the team should probably reflect the lifestyle and culture of the movers and shakers in the nation's capital as we perceive it today. As a result, I decided to do some research, and after checking with one of my confidential sources (the guy who goes around picking up the towels in the locker rooms in Fedex Stadium after the game), I found out that there are a number of suggestions that are already starting to jump right to the top of the list of new names for the team. And so, to give you a sneak preview, here are the...
TOP 10 NEW NAMES BEING CONSIDERED FOR
THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS
10.) The Washington Lobbyists
9.) The Washington Grifters
8.) The Washington Subpoenas
7.) The Washington Pork Barrels
6.) The Washington Gerrymanders
5.) The Washington Orgies
4.) The Washington Filibusters
3.) The Washington Philanderers
2.) The Washington Covfefes
AND THE NUMBER ONE NEW NAME BEING
CONSIDERED FOR THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS...
The Washington Faucis
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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."
-- Thomas Pynchon
