With Nancy Pelosi putting the locks on the doors of the House of Representatives until the government reopens, Donald Trump now has a real quandary. If he feels so strongly about delivering his State of the Union address somewhere -- ANYwhere -- this must be a difficult time for him to make up his mind on when, where and how he is going to tell the American public that the state of union is strong; the state of Trump, not so much.
But fear not! Via one of my sources (the cleaning lady who has to go around picking up Eric and Donald Jr.'s candy wrappers after they dump them anywhere they want in the East Room -- while she's not getting paid, mind you) I've discovered that The Donald has come up with several options of places where he can try and get his message across. And so dear readers, I now present to you...
TOP
10 PLACES FROM WHERE DONALD TRUMP MIGHT DELIVER HIS STATE OF THE
UNION ADDRESS
10.) Area 51
9.) The
dressing room of the Miss Teenage America pageant
8.) A
Covington Catholic High School ethics class
7.) The
ACCESS HOLLYWOOD tour bus
6.) The McDonald's nearest the Clemson University football stadium
5.) Sitting
on Mitch McConnell's chin
4.) Pyongyang, North Korea
3.) While performing with
Maroon 5 at the Super Bowl
2.) The luxury hooker suite at the Moscow Ritz Carlton
AND
THE NUMBER ONE PLACE FROM WHERE DONALD TRUMP MIGHT DELIVER HIS
STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS...
Due
to the shutdown: Any available Smithsonian museum
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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."
-- Thomas Pynchon
