But when one speculates about so many reasons whey she could be leaving at this point, it turns out that there is not one single reason, but an aggregate of such which contributed to he decision to depart. So I turned to one of my White House sources. (the kid with the toy lawnmower that got his picture taken cutting the lawn with Trump standing over him offering him a MAGA hat if he did both the south and the north lawns), and found out what was really behind her decision. And therefore, it pleases me to now present you with the...
TOP
10 REASONS WHY SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS IS LEAVING THE WHITE HOUSE
10.) Trump
told her that if she quit, he'd name a wall after her
9.) Finally
will have the time to binge watch “Game Of Thrones” and see what all the hype is about
8.) Miffed
that Mike Pence keeps telling her that she looks like she should
undergo gay conversion therapy
7.) Her
neighbors think she's married to Bernie Sanders and keep wondering
when she'll start giving them free stuff
6.) Just
found out that Donald Trump had a fling with a porn star on the
leather couch in her office the other night
5.) Discovered
that just as a practical joke Eric and Donald Jr. installed air jets
underneath the press room podium
4.) When
Trump decided to hold a White House staff beauty pageant, she came in
second to Kellyanne Conway
3.) Was
getting jealous of Donald and Ivanka's close relationship and wanted
to go back to Arkansas to spend more time with daddy Mike
2.) Trump keeps referring to her as “The Princess of Whales”
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS IS LEAVING THE WHITE HOUSE...
Now she can tell the White House press corps what she REALLY thinks of them
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"Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."
-- Thomas Pynchon
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