Happy -- What Are We Celebrating Again?

As weirded out as this year turned out to be politically, socially and in pretty much every other "-ly" you can think of, you'd hope that maybe at least the end of the year and the start of a new one would at least offer a little sanity; and that's what we all wish for: a fresh start,  a new hope, a bright beginning combined with some peace, common sense and a little relaxation from the daily headlines and nonsense we've all been subjected to in 2018.

But wait a minute. The same characters are still going to be around in 2019 and we'll be confronted with pretty much all the same problems, issues and politics we've had to deal with last 12 months; and if last year's events  are any kind of a foreshadowing, your New Year's Eve festivities might just continue along the same themes that made 2018 such a kaleidoscope of craziness. So just to say "I warned you" as you head into the next 365 days, you might want to keep the following in mind when preparing for your celebration Monday night...

TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE HAVING A BAD NEW YEAR'S EVE

10.) You're the only one at the Mar a Lago party who doesn't speak Russian

9.) Just as the ball in Times Square is about to hit midnight, an electrical transformer in Queens blows up

8.) While leaving the Supreme Court New Year's get-together. you have to step over the inebriated unconscious hulk of Brett Kavanaugh

7.) Instead of getting you tickets to a special New Year's Eve performance of “Hamilton” as he promised, all your buddy could come up with were two tickets to “Benedict Arnold: The Musical”

6.) Les Moonves invites you to his private after-party

5.) Your next door neighbor picks tonight to come after you with a pitchfork because she thinks you burned down her She Shed

4.) You're forced to wish your friends Paul Manafort and Bill Cosby a Happy New Year through a glass partition

3.) At midnight, the Korean clock you were given for Christmas chimes out “Kim Jong Un”

2.) You'd rather be at a Kathie Lee/Hoda drunkfest watching them vomit their brains out 

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE HAVING A BAD NEW YEAR'S EVE

Government shutdown -- 2019 cancelled

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                     "Every weirdo in the world is on my wavelength."

-- Thomas Pynchon